Maaaaaaaars!
by BlueSpiritFire1
Summary: NOT the kind of Mars that you might be expecting. Enjoy this slice of MAAAAAAAARS pie.


**Maaaaaaaaaaaaaars!**

**Disclaimer:** I do no own Hellsing nor any of its characters! And this idea...I CAN'T STOP LAUGHING!

ENJOY!

* * *

Integra was minding her own business as Walter chauffeured her through London and toward another Round Table meeting. Apparently it was Sir Penwood's turn. She casually looked out the windows to the civilians that swarmed, even at this hour. It was only when they got into the quieter streets did she see something quite….well, quite odd and disturbing to be frank.

"Is that…by God, it is! Walter, stop the car!"

"What? Sir, we're already going to be late, thanks to the traffic-"

"I said **STOP THE CAR.**" She barked again. Walter raised his eyebrows.

"As you wish."He pulled over on the side of the road and stalled the car.

"Walter, is that…. Please tell me I'm not the only one seeing this!"

Quite unamused, the retainer turned his head to the right, looking across the road. His eyes promptly went so wide his monocle fell out of place.

"Is that…really…."

"Walter, do we have a camera?"

"You're not really going to-? Yes, Sir Integra."

Walter cut himself off as he caught sight of the devious, evil grin appearing on her face in the rear-view mirror. He opened the glove compartment and fished out the camera. They always had one there, just in case. He had never imagined it would be used to capture such a sight. He passed it back to the Hellsing, who had rolled down her window with a feral grin.

She readied the device, adjusting the lens and zoom accordingly and ignoring the loud, bellowing repeated word that filled the car. Cackling quietly, lest they be spotted, Integra took more than enough evidence to shame the most shameless of men. She laughed madly out loud and slid down in her seat.

"Drive Walter, **DRIVE!**"

The butler floored the accelerator on the Rolls Royce and shot off into the evening, leaving behind the rather disturbing sight they had stumbled upon before the one they had snapped in the embarrassing situation realised they had been spotted. As the sped away Integra's insides felt all warm and fuzzy and she cradled the camera, stroking it lovingly like a mother would to her child. Except mothers didn't smoke cigarillos or command vampires.

* * *

Several days later the Vatican's Special Section XIII: Iscariot received a rather interesting package. It was thick and very much like wads of paper. The large envelope was personally handed to Enrico Maxwell who, after seeing the seal of the Hellsing family, contemplated throwing it out or incinerating it.

However the more devious and sly part of him wondered if this could be some sort of bargaining chip for future use. Tempted, he grabbed the letter opener on his desk and carefully cut open the fold and slid the contents out in a neat pile. Atop the papers, revealed to be large, A4 glossy photographs, was a neatly written A4 letter. However, it only bore one, single word:

_______MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARS!_!

Enrico frowned and shoved the slightly offensive letter aside. The Hellsing sow wouldn't be so foolish as to send something so meaningless. It must be a prank from the vile Nosferatu scum, Alucard, his mind reasoned. It wasn't like he had anything else to do. He could humour the demon for once.

Enrico picked up the stack of photos and leaned back in his chair, frowning as he flicked through them. Apparently the top one had been taken from an extremely zoomed in point and each picture widened the frame, a bit like a flip-note. As the whole picture came into view, worry started to seep in.

After about half the photos it was clear that the person in the picture was the best weapon in Iscariot, Alexander Anderson. He was laughing quite madly, back arched, head thrown so far back that you could see his molars as he laughed. His grey coat flapped about him and his arms were thrown out as if to embrace the moon.

However as the full picture was revealed, Erico had a totally different idea as to what he might be revelling in. Maybe it wasn't the moon. Maybe, _just maybe_...it was the giant Mars Bar on the billboard that loomed over him, attached to the building he was laughing in front of.

* * *

TeheheeHEHEHEHEHEH! XD

Am i the only person who can see this happening, right after his little chat with Maxwell? Oh Goodness, how much GOLD would that've been to stumble across!

**SOMEONE DRAW THIS! PLEASE! xD**


End file.
